Monday, June 14, 2010

Blossom welcomes and honors Dads this June!

On Friday, May 28, we had the pleasure of hosting a talk with Suzanne Arms, author, birth activist, mother, and grandmother.  She brought her usual passion and vigor to the topic “How did our experiences at the start of life shape us today?”  I have known Suzanne personally for many years and have heard her speak both formally and casually on similar topics.  As always, her words got me pondering (as I have since becoming a mother) how to heal from my own difficult first birth, what happened at my own birth that shaped who I am as a person and the relationship I have with my mother, and even how my mother’s experience of birth shaped how she experienced my daughter’s birth!  During this particular talk, however, a new question arouse for me…what about my husband’s role in all of this?  Is it possible his own birth had an effect on how our daughter came into the world?  What may have been difficult for him in becoming a father that has shaped everything that has come after?  Does he have something to process as we get closer to the birth of our third and final baby!?  

While I have always considered Kevin such an important part of my birth team and admire his dedication and involvement as a father, I had never before considered his experience of birth and how it may have had an affect on our own birth experiences and everything that followed.  I don’t mean to sound so self-centered, but it has almost felt like he was just a “supporting role” in my personal “movie” about my experience of birth.  Suzanne acknowledged that men, of course, can have birth experiences to process, whether their own or that of their children, but they do it in a completely different way than women do.  And often, they are completely at peace with their experiences of birth, but have other challenges as they navigate the seas of fatherhood.  This turned out to be the case for Kev.

Blossom is not just a place where women are supported as they become mothers.  We are a place for the entire family to grow.  Dads are involved in most of our prenatal classes, from Breastfeeding Basics to Childbirth Prep (actually, as a prenatal educator I’ve always said birth classes are more for the dad then the mom), and they are welcome to participate in our Parent- Baby Groups in the postpartum.  That said, it has been a rare occasion when I have seen a dad come in for our Parent-Baby Groups, and it has always been to accompany mom.  The truth is, dads just have different needs and different concerns than new moms.  And so, with this in mind, we started our BYOB (Bring Your Own Baby) Dads’ Gathering and found an experienced father of two, Ollie Moore, to lead it.  

Since I’m not a dad, I’ve never attended BYOB, but I hear that all sorts of topics come up.  It’s definitely a place where dads can ask their questions, make friends with other new dads, and give mom a couple of hours all to herself.  BYOB happens monthly on the third Sunday at 11:00am, except for June.  This month, we put the group on hold for a week, since it falls on Fathers’ Day and we figure many dads will have special plans with their families.  The following Sunday, however, we honor our Dads with our first annual BYOB Dads’ Day Hike.  

Most dads don’t get an opportunity to do “dad stuff” with other dads- here’s the chance to get out in the fresh air, hang out with other dads and kids and just plain have a good time.  The hike is Sunday, June 27 at 10am at the Picchetti Ranch Open Space Preserve in Cupertino, just 20- 25 minutes from Blossom.  The trail offers gorgeous views of the South Bay, yet is easy enough for toddlers and all-terrain strollers.  For a $25 donation (just $20 until June 15), dads will participate in the hike lead by Ollie, receive a cool BYOB T-shirt, snacks, a light lunch, and a ticket into our Dads’ Hike Raffle.  Additional raffle tickets can be purchased for $5 each or 3 for $10 with cool dad prizes like a DadGear Diaper Bag (worth $90), a San Jose Giants family pack worth $134, a $100 gift certificate to the NFL shop and more!  (We will call the winners afterwards, so if you can’t make it to the hike, you can still participate in the raffle.)  For more Hike details, please visit our Dads’ Day Hike webpage.  

As Fathers’ Day approaches, we at Blossom honor all of the dads in our community.  We remind our families that we are here for all of you, mom, baby, and dad alike.  Have a current Parent- Baby group card?  Dad can use it to attend BYOB!  And if there is any other way we can serve our dads, don’t hesitate to let us know!  We look forward to seeing you at our Dads’ Day Hike and hope your entire family has an awesome Fathers’ Day this June.